Sadness abounds

Not really much to say this week. Sadly mother in law passed away on Monday night at the grand old age of 90.

She had been in a nursing home for a number of years. After a series of mini strokes and on medical advice she was admitted to a nursing home for 24/7 care. She never returned home, her health deteriorated and vascular dementia was diagnosed. It was heart breaking to visit and for her not to recognise who we were.

We were called to the home at the beginning of the year and told it was imperative that we visit as she had had a really bad infection and wasn't expected to survive the week. We drove down through all the snow and blizzards to be at her side. Initially there was some recognition but as the morning wore on she constantly asked who we were. She told us she was waiting for her sister Muriel and husband, Bill to visit, both sadly both had long gone. Muriel, 13 months ago but her husband more than 30 years ago.

She was afraid to lie down, she had severe congestion on the lungs, as she wasn't able to breathe properly and due to chronic heart failure there was very little could be done. Unbelievably she rallied round, her appetite came back and she wanted to join her fellow 'in-mates' in the day room. Staff said she was a marvel and had regained a lot of her fighting spirit. Her last few weeks she remained in a chair surrounded by a myriad of pillows.

She looked like a little shrivelled walnut, and no I'm not being disrespectful that's just what she reminded me of. She was a very little old lady only 4ft 9in so you can imagine how she appeared being in such a large chair.

The end came quite quickly, she had been fine at tea time, and had a cuppa at 9ish but when the night staff did a bed check at 10.30 she had slipped away. She had had the thoughtfulness to organise her own funeral 7 years ago so all we have had to do is finalise and tie up loose ends. Still very sad and upsetting.

Only a few more days before it is over and done with. We've picked 3 songs/hymns for the crematorium. 'Ripple' by Grateful Dead - which she quite enjoyed, the favourite 'Abide with me' - which as my husband pointed out is also the Rugby League anthem (he's a fanatic) and Katherine Jenkins - 'Time to say goodbye'. Hopefully it won't be too sad a day.

My husband is now an orphan and has no siblings so it will be up to me to make sure he is okay. Will let you know how it goes.