Sadness abounds

Not really much to say this week. Sadly mother in law passed away on Monday night at the grand old age of 90.

She had been in a nursing home for a number of years. After a series of mini strokes and on medical advice she was admitted to a nursing home for 24/7 care. She never returned home, her health deteriorated and vascular dementia was diagnosed. It was heart breaking to visit and for her not to recognise who we were.

We were called to the home at the beginning of the year and told it was imperative that we visit as she had had a really bad infection and wasn't expected to survive the week. We drove down through all the snow and blizzards to be at her side. Initially there was some recognition but as the morning wore on she constantly asked who we were. She told us she was waiting for her sister Muriel and husband, Bill to visit, both sadly both had long gone. Muriel, 13 months ago but her husband more than 30 years ago.

She was afraid to lie down, she had severe congestion on the lungs, as she wasn't able to breathe properly and due to chronic heart failure there was very little could be done. Unbelievably she rallied round, her appetite came back and she wanted to join her fellow 'in-mates' in the day room. Staff said she was a marvel and had regained a lot of her fighting spirit. Her last few weeks she remained in a chair surrounded by a myriad of pillows.

She looked like a little shrivelled walnut, and no I'm not being disrespectful that's just what she reminded me of. She was a very little old lady only 4ft 9in so you can imagine how she appeared being in such a large chair.

The end came quite quickly, she had been fine at tea time, and had a cuppa at 9ish but when the night staff did a bed check at 10.30 she had slipped away. She had had the thoughtfulness to organise her own funeral 7 years ago so all we have had to do is finalise and tie up loose ends. Still very sad and upsetting.

Only a few more days before it is over and done with. We've picked 3 songs/hymns for the crematorium. 'Ripple' by Grateful Dead - which she quite enjoyed, the favourite 'Abide with me' - which as my husband pointed out is also the Rugby League anthem (he's a fanatic) and Katherine Jenkins - 'Time to say goodbye'. Hopefully it won't be too sad a day.

My husband is now an orphan and has no siblings so it will be up to me to make sure he is okay. Will let you know how it goes.

St David's Day

Daughter did get out of hospital on Saturday. Mixup with her meds but went shopping then back to hospital to pick them up. Still not right but manageable.

Younger sister's birthday today. Shame on me I had her convinced when she was little that she was a leprechaun and of mixed heritage. Well she was born on St David's Day, in Ireland with Scottish parents. How more mixed up could she be? We still laugh about it now after all these years. I took this picture 2 years ago when we were having a girlie holiday in Turkey.

Was at hospital myself today. Left work at 9 am for appointment at 10am. Seen at 10.20, thought that was good going, after initial consultation doctor decided I had better go for x-rays. Went back to waiting room to find the clinics were running 45 mins late. Saw doctor who then decided I should see the consultant. Had to wait for consultant to finish with another patient. Boredom started to set in, listening to Magic radio, getting fed up with old songs. Eventually saw consultant who decided on course of treatment. Now have to wait for 3 more appointments and have to wear a removeable spint on hand. Oh the joys, anyway never got back out till 12.55 and had to travl back to work. Arrived back at 13.33 what a waste of a day.

Ho hum just finished lunch so back to work again.

Blog more tomorrow.

Damp, wet and dreich

At least the snow has gone but it has been replaced by drizzly rain, the kind that really soaks right through to the skin. Just glad we don't stay up or around Perth and Aberdeen. Thoughts of being stranded terrify me but hopefully it won't happen.

Mind you I was trapped in a lift on the 18th floor when I was 4 months pregnant. Now that was scarey and being claustraphobic didn't help. Was visiting an aunt in Sighthill and didn't fancy walking up the stairs so forced myself to get into the lift with the thought that it wouldn't be too bad. How wrong was I?? Was there on my own for 25 minutes, boy was I a wreck when the emergency services let me out.

Took me years to get back into a lift even with family. The biggest achievement was when I made it to the top of the Empire State Building in New York with my favourite uncle who is sadly no longer with us. His hand was bruised cos I held onto is so hard but it was worth it for the views. Still prefer stairs although would have been there forever climbing.

Roll on the weekend, daughter is getting out tomorrow so if she feels up to it we will go shopping before I take her home. She hasn't had any type of surgery so should be okay.

Hope you like the pictures, yes they are random but nice all the same. This one was taken when I was on holiday with my sister in Turkey. We were on a day trip round 5 bays. When I viewed this on my camera my beloved dad's face could be seen so clearly but when viewed normally he's not there. He was with us all the time we were away, as a fly on the plane, a spider in the room, a lizard on the wall, fish in the water and a fly on the plane coming home. Made us laugh at times. Good old dad, loved by us all and so sadly missed.

Happy blogging and thanks for the comments.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!

OMG what can I say, it's snowing again. It started as flurries yesterday and got heavier during the day. By tea-time we decided to park the car on the drive and forget about going back out. About an hour later our footsteps had disappeared and the road was indistinguishable from the pavement.

Daughter still in hospital and leading nursing staff a merry dance. She is so demanding at times and nothing anyone says or does is right. She has already fallen out with one nurse but then again nothing I didn't expect. She does it every time. Mind you she was really good last year and hardly had any stays in hospital. Where a 'normal' person goes in for routine/exploritory surgery and is out in a day or two at the most, my dear daughter is in for at least a week. Nothing seems straightforward with her.

Brighter news is that she should be out on Saturday, I'll have to be up early so that I can get the car for picking her up, hubby is day shift, still at least it means I can go shopping as well, pay day tomorrow, hurray.

Hopefully the treatment she is having this time will cure or at least greatly assist the problems she has. Hubby is visiting her this afternoon, might go tonight, depends. Don't get me wrong I love her to bits but she is tiring, might make an excuse to leave it until tomorrow.

Very manic day due to the snow, arrangements having to be changed, staff not able to come in, fortunately managed to get here round about usual time only to find that the centre of town was clear of the fluffy white stuff, only raining. Had to trudge through about 2 inches of the damn stuff this morning to get my bus. Starting to snow again just now here's hoping it doesn't last too long this time. Christmas and New Year were a nightmare.

Talk again tomorrow weather permitting.

Monday Blues

Thank goodness the weekend is over. What a time I've had. Started off really well, shopping and lunch with husband and daughter. Home for husband to watch his rugby and see his team win, narrow margin but still a win. More than I can say for Dunfermline, divvies again. Anyway relaxing playing games on computer when daughter called to say she didn't feel too well. She'd had stomach pains for a couple of days but seemed okay. Taken to hospital at 9.30 and admitted with suspected gall stones. Hubby didn't get home until 2.30am. Tired and anxious. Sunday brought loads of running around, taking hubby to work so could use car, visiting hospital in the afternoon - ultra sound, no gallstones - home for lunch, back to hospital in evening. Daughter's house to check on Tiggs then to hubby's work to pick him up. Finally got home at 9.45 shattered and wanting to sleep. But once again head hits pillow, brain wakes up and won't switch back off.

Tossing and turning most of the night, worried about lots of different things but mainly daughter's health yet again. Will they ever find out what it wrong? Seems like forever, hospital appointments, long stays in hospital, short stays in hospital and always the same, can't find anything wrong. Why all the chronic pain if there's nothing wrong!! Maybe this time, we can only hope.

Doctor's appointment for me early morning didn't realise that GP's got up that early, surgery opens at 7.30 wow. Still everything checked out, blood tests although not quite normal nothing to worry about. Weepy moments another thing, back to see doc in 4 weeks.

Enough of the doom and gloom, it's a lovely sunny, cold nearly spring morning. The snowdrops are awakening and lifting their little heads from the frozen soil, how do they do that?

Bye for now.

Oh Dear (no a donkey)

I really feel like crying. Got my mark last night for my latest assignment for uni course. Okay it was 50% but really felt I had done better this time. Marks are consistent (consistently bad). Started off not too great - first time studying for more than 15 years, second assignment was pleased with 55% but going down hill again. Is it worth it? Tutor seems to think I'm doing well. Hardly slept last night worrying about where I go next. Feel so tired today.

It's really cold and dreich again today although it's lighter in the mornings. Still it is Friday and a short day, well half an hour less to work.

Don't feel much like blogging today so will finish now, had my moan. Back Monday.

Bloggings back

Bloggings back
Hey I'm back in the land of bloggers. Yippee. The system was being upgraded/overhauled or whatever it is they do to make it run better. Only problem is we will have untold problems for the next couple of weeks with unsolicited adverts and requests. It's always the same. Wish they would leave it alone. If it's not broke why fix it.

Anyway most colleagues are away at an all day event which means I can get on a do the wee things that I've been meaning to do for ages but never had the time, cleaning out filing cabinets, shredding and all the other exciting jobs.

Waiting patiently for my TMA result, should be in today. Have decided if result is not good I will rethink this whole Uni thing. The next assignment which isn't due until 23 March is a report but stumped with the actual question. Will see what happens and keep you in touch.

Buying a birthday card at lunchtime, haven't seen a decent one yet because of all the Valentines, it's for a 90 year old and the only one I did see was drab and not very caring. I know my mother in law is a bit of a haridan or was in her younger years but to get to 90 is an achievement in itself. Bless her she's got dementia and doesn't really know people. We visited and to begin with it was fine but after about 5 minutes so was asking who we were? This was repeated throughout the whole visit, some lucid moments then dwelling on the past. She informed us that William, Bill and Muriel were visiting her later, sadly they have all passed. William over 60 years ago, Bill 20 years ago and Muriel 16 months ago. Do I want to get to that age? not so sure about that one either. Day for reflection as well I think.

Onto a bit brighter note, it's Thursday and nearly the end of the week. Going shopping on Saturday and probably take in lunch. Also a week closer to pay day. How exciting is that?

Bye for now.