Mid week again

Where does the time go to. It's Wednesday again, I believe this happens once a week, and it's almost the end of July. The days are passing by so quickly but then again so are the years.

The funeral on Monday was a wakeup to a lot of people. There were so many people in attendance, the majority were friends of Charlene's mum but there were also distant relative from Essex. So distant that Charlene's partner and sons had only met them at her mums's funeral last year. Not close then. How poignant that they should attend the funeral of one so young with so much to live for and who was so cruelly taken from those who loved her. The Church of Scotland service was strange to say the least. The organist obviously wanted to get home and rushed the singing along, although one old biddie sang her heart out at her speed. The deaconess (minister was on holiday) told a story about water beetles and dragonflies to explain to the boys what had happened to their mum. Would have been different if the boys had been really little but the looks on the faces of a 12 and 13 year old said it all. She ended her story by saying 'Your mum's dead, she's not coming back' doh we know that why do you think we're all here? The ear splitting grin on Gordon's face as he left the church to the chords of Kings of Leon was a joy to see. He was heartbroken but was smiling because he knew Charlene had a wicked sense of humour. She had discussed what she wanted a few weeks prior to her demise and he followed it to the letter. She's now interred in the cemetery along with her mum, dad and brother. Together again for ever.

I was remembering my teenage years the other day, yeh I know that was eons ago but what fun we had. The youth club at the church was always looked forward to eagerly, meeting up with friends and hoping for a glimpse of the yearned for special person, which never really materialised. The Sunday school, I was a teacher, with the little faces eager to hear more stories and the making of special cards, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter. The Brownies, Guides and Rangers, I could go on forever. Where did it all go?

I missed out on a lot of fun though getting married so young but wouldn't change a thing, well not where my children are concerned. I only really have one regret and that is that I wasn't a better mother. If I had been then maybe I would still have three children to tell me their woes and troubles instead of just one. Would I turn back the clock - no I don't think so?

Life is what you make it and I love life.

Till tomorrow

Cheeri xx

Sorrow abounds again

Today is the funeral. It's miserable and raining just typical. The service is Church of Scotland with a burial in Rutherglen. Wee soul is to be reunited with her mum, dad and brother - together again.

One of the saddest sights I've ever seen was yesterday when we went to drop daughter at the house. We were invited in for a coffee, three wee hangers with black trousers and white shirts. Wee boys shouldn't have to be put through something so traumatic. Don't know what the youngest will be wearing or if he will even be attending. Would imagine he will be there though.

Fun to the end the music for coming out of the church is "My sex is on fire" by Kings of Leon. Strange music for a funeral but each to his own.

Nothing else to say today.

More praying hands for you to admire.

Bye x

Will the heartache never end

I know it's not quite the same as a human's passing but one of my cousin's beloved cats died yesterday. He was a lovely big, docile boy named Gizmo.

My cousins stay on the other side of the pond and have never married. They share a house and have done for the past 30+ years. They have both had relationships but not the commitment of marriage.

They love their animals and at one time had 7 cats - mostly strays they took in and a alsation named Phantom. He was a real character. They still have a dog only a small Maltese called Muneca. She's poorly as well.

Let's hope this is the end of the sadness in our family for a while. I don't know how much more it will take before I break down in tears. So close to it at present. Thank goodness for work.

Cheeri x

Charlene

My daughter's friend gave up on a life of pain and passed away on 19 July.

She so wanted to have her partnership blessed and was in the middle of arrangements. With my daughter's help she had chosen lilac, purple and silver as her theme. She was making her own cards and I had printed off a form of words for inserts.

Due to her very sad circumstances, being an orphan and having no siblings we wanted to do everything we could to help. My sister offered to make a cake and my daughter was organising as much as she could. She even helped Gordon with chosing kilts as a surprise.

Poor soul didn't see her work come to fruition. Her little boys never got to say goodbye and my heart breaks for them all.

Short and sweet today.

God Bless you Charlene, free from pain and in God's arms.

Oh dear

Today started off well. Went to Edinburgh on a course, lots of them this past couple of weeks but all necessary. The weather was superb, warm and sunny but OMG the sights, not pretty. Why oh why do some larger than normal people have to subject others to their mounds of white wobbly flesh. Makes you feel ill!!! Anyway course went well but weather changed dramatically. Cloudy with a hint of rain - but so warm. We need a good thunderstorm to clear the air. Then again is there such a thing as a good thunderstorm.

On train back listening to Il Divo when my phone interrupted my thoughts. My daughter phoned in a bit of a state - her friend who I've mentioned before got word last night that at best she has 6 months to live. I didn't know what to say. She knew she had terminal cancer but this makes it so final. She has to prepare herself and her little boys for the inevitable. She has asked if my daughter will look after her youngest who is only 2. Not take him but help to look after him. Her other sons are 12, 11 and 8. Not sure if I got their ages right the last time I wrote. My thoughts are now with her and her family at this sad time. She has no living relatives of her own - apart from the boys, her mum passed away last year and her dad when she was 2 the same age as her youngest boy.

It puts life into perspective doesn't it.

Bye for now

Another weekend gone

Hee hee just love this dancing granny!!!

Monday morning again, how quickly the weekend goes past.

Very quiet and uneventful - not.

Daughter's friend is suffering with terminal cancer, such a lovely girl and so young. She has 4 little boys the eldest only 12 and the baby is 2. She fought and won her first battle with the dreaded disease but it's back with a vengeance. She has had numerous operations and is back on chemo when her health permits, anyway she had a setback on Saturday and was rushed in critical condition to hospital. Daughter went with her and stayed until she was admitted to HDU. Much to everyone's relief she rallied and by yesterday was much better and sitting up, more coherent and lively.

We had arranged to meet up for lunch but put it on the back burner until we knew what was happening. Daughter eventually arrived at Silverburn and we had a lovely lunch at one of the Italian restaurants.

I bought another couple of things to go with my outfit for the wedding on Friday. Just a purse to go with my handbag and shoes. Got another pair of shoes as well, mock crock in black, red and orange, really nice. Had a bit of a stuchie with hubby though about a shirt. He had bought a new suit in grey and tried to say that he shirt he had at home would be fine, well yes it would if it had fitted. Shock, horror had to buy a bigger suit - 44in chest. He denies putting on any weight, yeh right. Anyway he decided a new shirt was in order. The one he wanted was quite expensive and no matter how I tried to dissuade him from buying it - it's only for the one day, we never go anywhere you would need to wear a shirt etc. I finally conceded and thought that would be the end of it but no he then started looking at ties which cost as much as the shirt .......... but they're silk. Yes and your point is???? Anyway daughter went and bought a lovely tie for Father's Day. Perfect match for the colour of shirt. So peace reigned once more.

Did I mention I've started at the gym in work? Well been once so far and found it really enjoyable. Been trying hard to be healthy. The only problem I have is the food at work. Don't get me wrong it is lovely, fantastic choices as well but why oh why do they have to ruin everything with the world's most horrible, disgusting vegetables - mushrooms, celery and asparagus. Yeuck, yeuck, yeuck. I love salads but hate the 3 mentioned veggies. The should be banned from the light of day, yeh I know mushrooms are to begin with but they should be kept in the dark and never ever let out. Celery is the bain of my life, it's in everything, does it know I hate it so much it's haunting me!!!! Oh well back to the bean salad, lettuce, beetroot and boiled eggs again.

Enough ranting, time for some serious work, till tomorrow, Cheeri x

Excitement for a Friday

Wow what a start to the morning. Only in the office about 10 minutes when the fire alarm went off. As a designated fire marshal I had to quickly pick up my 'now you see me jacket' and shepherd all colleagues to the nearest fire exit. Being on the 5th floor it's quite a trek. Had been to a meeting yesterday regarding the previous test and was informed that too many people were leaving the building carrying cups of coffee etc. Only 1 of my section did that today and when I spoke to her she replied that there was nowhere to leave her coffee. Duh there are loads of desks and filing cabinets within the ares. Never mind the e-mail telling people it's not allowed hasn't been sent yet.

This wasn't what I expected to write today. I was feeling rather nostalgic yesterday and started to remember things from bye gone years, at my age there are plenty of those. Anyway one song sprang to mind, an old Foster and Allen - If I had my life to live over. Would I change things, probably if I could. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I wouldn't change everything but I possibly would tell people how I felt about them, but too late now. Missed chances and some regrets but that's life ----- oh another song by Frank Sinatra.

My sister is doing the Race for Life on Sunday, so proud of her that's about the 4th year she's done it. Have sponsored her as always. She wanted to meet up on Saturday but I've got lots to do, getting hair cut, waiting around for the gas man to come and check the boiler. It's her daughter's wedding on Friday and she's not the least bit organised.

Hey ho better get on with some work.

Blog again soon.

Take care, cheeri

I'm back

Decided to start blogging again.

This picture has nothing whatsoever to do with my blog just decided to use it. 'Went to Turkey to buy a Heat Magazine'. The sun is getting to me.

New job is absolutely wonderful. Lots to do but not the same pressure. Working in a team with two other people so the work is divided.

We have moved round in the office and I now have a brilliant view over the motorway and buildings looking towards the airport. The windows are huge and the sunlight makes everything so fresh and clean looking.

Just finished my OU course so waiting with baited breath for the results. Only need to get 30% to pass the course but not sure if I will make it. The question was so hard, mind you things might have been different if I had actually studied properly. Next time I promise I will do more studying.

Miss speaking to my very dear friend. He makes my heart jump but then again he always did. Going to a wedding next week. My niece is tying the knot. Hope the weather stays fine for her. Wearing a dress, which nowadays is unheard of. Too big and not a dress person. Anyway I'll be a cross between a lemon and a meringue. No the dress isn't one of these humungous things but flowing and chiffon and OMG do I really want to wear it. Hubby says it looks fine but not too sure. Will update you as and when and may even get a picture taken.

Had a slight problem with the outfit because I bought the dress first then the little lemon bolero type cardie. Needed shoes and a handbag to match, so bought a lovely handbag in lemon but couldn't get shoes. Went to the cobblers to see if they had dye, they didn't have the colour I wanted but said they would order it for me. All excited went back a week later to get the dye but oops they had sent vanilla ---- now I feel nauseaus at the very mention of the word. All to do with a stomach complaint but that's another story. Anyway I decided against the colour and the sales assistant very kindly (not) suggested another dye. It duly came and yippee was the right one. The shoes are now dyed and ready for the off. I'm sure the saga will continue as I've still got a week to go. Was thinking about a flower or feathery thing for my hair but then again.......................

Bye for now watch this space.

Bye

Have decided this is the last blog I'm going to write. Mainly for personal and selfish reasons.

I had a good week, my step son, daughter-in-law and grandaughter were here from Colchester for a couple of days. Son is in the army and going to be deployed to Afghanistan some time soon.



We went for dinner on Wednesday but because I had training for my new post, which I start on 4 May, I wasn't able to take any time off on Thursday. They went to Edinburgh on Friday. I met up with them again on Saturday before they went back home.

Had a lovely time buying gifts for my grandaughter who I hadn't seen for 3 years. She is so grown up looking but when she talks you can hear she is still just a little girl, she's nearly a teenager. 12 coming on 17. Love her to bits. Lasting memory will always be when we visited Colchester a few years ago, we slept on a blow up bed in her room. She shared with her mum and dad. About 7.30 in the morning this little six year olds' voice said, 'Grandma are you awake, can you help me?' there she was standing with her hands full of the tiniest dollies I had ever seen - Bratz - and she wanted me to dress them. Still half asleep and no glasses, still I managed and she was happy.

She wants a hamster for her birthday so if that's what she wants that's what she'll get. Will just send the money though wouldn't want to be done for cruelty sending it through the post, lol.



Daughter gave me a fright again by having another seizure. Been a while since the last one. She's fine and was out of hospital within 5 hours this time. Brought on by an infection but she's going to be referred yet again to a neurologist.



Well that's it my very last ever blog.

So goodbye and thanks.

I'm back

Wow what a time I've had in the last couple of weeks.

In my last blog I mentioned that my mother-in-law had passed away. It was a really sad time for my husband. His dad died about 25 years ago and he had no siblings. There was an older brother who died before hubby was born. It was a shame cos he and his mum didn't get on.

I don't know how I will cope without my mum. I know what it was like when dad went nearly 5 years ago. I think about him every day. Don't they make a lovely couple, this was taken over 30 years ago.

M-in-L had the presence of mind a few years ago to organise her own funeral. All we had to do apart from register her passing was to finalise the details. She wasn't really religious so didn't want any hymns. Hubby had spoken to her about it. We sat down together to pick some music and decided on Fields of Gold by Eva Cassidy as the mourners came into the crematorium, Ripple by Grateful Dead as the coffin was borne in and Time to Say Goodbye by Katherine Jenkins as the curtains came round.

It was a lovely service although not everyone agreed. The minister had paid attention to the smallest of details and gave a really good account of a long hard life from being a firewatcher in London during the blitz to service in a large house and eventually as a recorder in the court. M-in-L had a varied life.

There was a sharp intake of breath as the minister regailed the congregation with tit bits of her long and varied life. There was a sharp intake of breath however when he happened to say that "Chrissie and Bill's life was made complete when Sydney came along", not strictly true but brought a rye grin to hubby's face. You had to be there.

Anyway there were the usual grumblings about the funeral being rubbish etc. Three of my step sons attended - the fourth being in Cyprus. Talk about the Dingles. Apart from the fact that one of the unmentionable ones slashed one of the tyres on the car everything went without a hitch. We couldn't prove it but we knew who it was.

All over and done with now, no time for regrets or what might have been.

Have not been too well for a few weeks now, winter/spring cold, sneezing, coughing, runny nose, headache the lot but not as bad as my friend who has been diagnosed with pneumonia. She carried on at work until she was sent home on Tuesday. So much for my weeks holiday I spent most of it in bed.

Fifth TMA was e-mailed to Uni - I passed, things are tough but I'm getting there. So much so that I have already registered for another year - Crime, Welfare and Society. What a fool, eh!!

I'm also waiting for a start date for my new job. I'll miss my colleagues but need a new challenge.

Well that's it for just now, can't blog from work anymore so will just have to make time at night after work.

Sadness abounds

Not really much to say this week. Sadly mother in law passed away on Monday night at the grand old age of 90.

She had been in a nursing home for a number of years. After a series of mini strokes and on medical advice she was admitted to a nursing home for 24/7 care. She never returned home, her health deteriorated and vascular dementia was diagnosed. It was heart breaking to visit and for her not to recognise who we were.

We were called to the home at the beginning of the year and told it was imperative that we visit as she had had a really bad infection and wasn't expected to survive the week. We drove down through all the snow and blizzards to be at her side. Initially there was some recognition but as the morning wore on she constantly asked who we were. She told us she was waiting for her sister Muriel and husband, Bill to visit, both sadly both had long gone. Muriel, 13 months ago but her husband more than 30 years ago.

She was afraid to lie down, she had severe congestion on the lungs, as she wasn't able to breathe properly and due to chronic heart failure there was very little could be done. Unbelievably she rallied round, her appetite came back and she wanted to join her fellow 'in-mates' in the day room. Staff said she was a marvel and had regained a lot of her fighting spirit. Her last few weeks she remained in a chair surrounded by a myriad of pillows.

She looked like a little shrivelled walnut, and no I'm not being disrespectful that's just what she reminded me of. She was a very little old lady only 4ft 9in so you can imagine how she appeared being in such a large chair.

The end came quite quickly, she had been fine at tea time, and had a cuppa at 9ish but when the night staff did a bed check at 10.30 she had slipped away. She had had the thoughtfulness to organise her own funeral 7 years ago so all we have had to do is finalise and tie up loose ends. Still very sad and upsetting.

Only a few more days before it is over and done with. We've picked 3 songs/hymns for the crematorium. 'Ripple' by Grateful Dead - which she quite enjoyed, the favourite 'Abide with me' - which as my husband pointed out is also the Rugby League anthem (he's a fanatic) and Katherine Jenkins - 'Time to say goodbye'. Hopefully it won't be too sad a day.

My husband is now an orphan and has no siblings so it will be up to me to make sure he is okay. Will let you know how it goes.

St David's Day

Daughter did get out of hospital on Saturday. Mixup with her meds but went shopping then back to hospital to pick them up. Still not right but manageable.

Younger sister's birthday today. Shame on me I had her convinced when she was little that she was a leprechaun and of mixed heritage. Well she was born on St David's Day, in Ireland with Scottish parents. How more mixed up could she be? We still laugh about it now after all these years. I took this picture 2 years ago when we were having a girlie holiday in Turkey.

Was at hospital myself today. Left work at 9 am for appointment at 10am. Seen at 10.20, thought that was good going, after initial consultation doctor decided I had better go for x-rays. Went back to waiting room to find the clinics were running 45 mins late. Saw doctor who then decided I should see the consultant. Had to wait for consultant to finish with another patient. Boredom started to set in, listening to Magic radio, getting fed up with old songs. Eventually saw consultant who decided on course of treatment. Now have to wait for 3 more appointments and have to wear a removeable spint on hand. Oh the joys, anyway never got back out till 12.55 and had to travl back to work. Arrived back at 13.33 what a waste of a day.

Ho hum just finished lunch so back to work again.

Blog more tomorrow.

Damp, wet and dreich

At least the snow has gone but it has been replaced by drizzly rain, the kind that really soaks right through to the skin. Just glad we don't stay up or around Perth and Aberdeen. Thoughts of being stranded terrify me but hopefully it won't happen.

Mind you I was trapped in a lift on the 18th floor when I was 4 months pregnant. Now that was scarey and being claustraphobic didn't help. Was visiting an aunt in Sighthill and didn't fancy walking up the stairs so forced myself to get into the lift with the thought that it wouldn't be too bad. How wrong was I?? Was there on my own for 25 minutes, boy was I a wreck when the emergency services let me out.

Took me years to get back into a lift even with family. The biggest achievement was when I made it to the top of the Empire State Building in New York with my favourite uncle who is sadly no longer with us. His hand was bruised cos I held onto is so hard but it was worth it for the views. Still prefer stairs although would have been there forever climbing.

Roll on the weekend, daughter is getting out tomorrow so if she feels up to it we will go shopping before I take her home. She hasn't had any type of surgery so should be okay.

Hope you like the pictures, yes they are random but nice all the same. This one was taken when I was on holiday with my sister in Turkey. We were on a day trip round 5 bays. When I viewed this on my camera my beloved dad's face could be seen so clearly but when viewed normally he's not there. He was with us all the time we were away, as a fly on the plane, a spider in the room, a lizard on the wall, fish in the water and a fly on the plane coming home. Made us laugh at times. Good old dad, loved by us all and so sadly missed.

Happy blogging and thanks for the comments.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!!

OMG what can I say, it's snowing again. It started as flurries yesterday and got heavier during the day. By tea-time we decided to park the car on the drive and forget about going back out. About an hour later our footsteps had disappeared and the road was indistinguishable from the pavement.

Daughter still in hospital and leading nursing staff a merry dance. She is so demanding at times and nothing anyone says or does is right. She has already fallen out with one nurse but then again nothing I didn't expect. She does it every time. Mind you she was really good last year and hardly had any stays in hospital. Where a 'normal' person goes in for routine/exploritory surgery and is out in a day or two at the most, my dear daughter is in for at least a week. Nothing seems straightforward with her.

Brighter news is that she should be out on Saturday, I'll have to be up early so that I can get the car for picking her up, hubby is day shift, still at least it means I can go shopping as well, pay day tomorrow, hurray.

Hopefully the treatment she is having this time will cure or at least greatly assist the problems she has. Hubby is visiting her this afternoon, might go tonight, depends. Don't get me wrong I love her to bits but she is tiring, might make an excuse to leave it until tomorrow.

Very manic day due to the snow, arrangements having to be changed, staff not able to come in, fortunately managed to get here round about usual time only to find that the centre of town was clear of the fluffy white stuff, only raining. Had to trudge through about 2 inches of the damn stuff this morning to get my bus. Starting to snow again just now here's hoping it doesn't last too long this time. Christmas and New Year were a nightmare.

Talk again tomorrow weather permitting.

Monday Blues

Thank goodness the weekend is over. What a time I've had. Started off really well, shopping and lunch with husband and daughter. Home for husband to watch his rugby and see his team win, narrow margin but still a win. More than I can say for Dunfermline, divvies again. Anyway relaxing playing games on computer when daughter called to say she didn't feel too well. She'd had stomach pains for a couple of days but seemed okay. Taken to hospital at 9.30 and admitted with suspected gall stones. Hubby didn't get home until 2.30am. Tired and anxious. Sunday brought loads of running around, taking hubby to work so could use car, visiting hospital in the afternoon - ultra sound, no gallstones - home for lunch, back to hospital in evening. Daughter's house to check on Tiggs then to hubby's work to pick him up. Finally got home at 9.45 shattered and wanting to sleep. But once again head hits pillow, brain wakes up and won't switch back off.

Tossing and turning most of the night, worried about lots of different things but mainly daughter's health yet again. Will they ever find out what it wrong? Seems like forever, hospital appointments, long stays in hospital, short stays in hospital and always the same, can't find anything wrong. Why all the chronic pain if there's nothing wrong!! Maybe this time, we can only hope.

Doctor's appointment for me early morning didn't realise that GP's got up that early, surgery opens at 7.30 wow. Still everything checked out, blood tests although not quite normal nothing to worry about. Weepy moments another thing, back to see doc in 4 weeks.

Enough of the doom and gloom, it's a lovely sunny, cold nearly spring morning. The snowdrops are awakening and lifting their little heads from the frozen soil, how do they do that?

Bye for now.

Oh Dear (no a donkey)

I really feel like crying. Got my mark last night for my latest assignment for uni course. Okay it was 50% but really felt I had done better this time. Marks are consistent (consistently bad). Started off not too great - first time studying for more than 15 years, second assignment was pleased with 55% but going down hill again. Is it worth it? Tutor seems to think I'm doing well. Hardly slept last night worrying about where I go next. Feel so tired today.

It's really cold and dreich again today although it's lighter in the mornings. Still it is Friday and a short day, well half an hour less to work.

Don't feel much like blogging today so will finish now, had my moan. Back Monday.

Bloggings back

Bloggings back
Hey I'm back in the land of bloggers. Yippee. The system was being upgraded/overhauled or whatever it is they do to make it run better. Only problem is we will have untold problems for the next couple of weeks with unsolicited adverts and requests. It's always the same. Wish they would leave it alone. If it's not broke why fix it.

Anyway most colleagues are away at an all day event which means I can get on a do the wee things that I've been meaning to do for ages but never had the time, cleaning out filing cabinets, shredding and all the other exciting jobs.

Waiting patiently for my TMA result, should be in today. Have decided if result is not good I will rethink this whole Uni thing. The next assignment which isn't due until 23 March is a report but stumped with the actual question. Will see what happens and keep you in touch.

Buying a birthday card at lunchtime, haven't seen a decent one yet because of all the Valentines, it's for a 90 year old and the only one I did see was drab and not very caring. I know my mother in law is a bit of a haridan or was in her younger years but to get to 90 is an achievement in itself. Bless her she's got dementia and doesn't really know people. We visited and to begin with it was fine but after about 5 minutes so was asking who we were? This was repeated throughout the whole visit, some lucid moments then dwelling on the past. She informed us that William, Bill and Muriel were visiting her later, sadly they have all passed. William over 60 years ago, Bill 20 years ago and Muriel 16 months ago. Do I want to get to that age? not so sure about that one either. Day for reflection as well I think.

Onto a bit brighter note, it's Thursday and nearly the end of the week. Going shopping on Saturday and probably take in lunch. Also a week closer to pay day. How exciting is that?

Bye for now.

Bring back blogging

For some reason I can no longer blog from work, a warning comes up when I try to open my blog and I can't visit anyone elses either. Oh well just have wait till I get home now and get on with work instead.

Will start to get busy again tomorrow as boss is back from his leave. He's been to the far east, lucky or what?

Feeling a lot better, been taking the tablets for the last couple of nights and getting a good sleep, only have 4 left but they certainly helped.

Had a brilliant day on Saturday, was in Rosyth visiting my beloved mum. Took her to Glenrothes for the day, went shopping and had lunch before coming back to Glasgow. Drove over at 9 and back at 7 so long day but really enjoyable. Probably go back over in a couple of weeks.

Must remember birthday card for mother-in-law, she's 90 on the 20th. Not bad eh.

Sister's birthday on 1st and cousin's on 2nd so busy time for cards.

Blog again soon.

Cheeri

Thursday again!!!

Hi

Can't believe it's almost the weekend yet again. I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and apart from draining one arm of blood I was given some medication. Anti biotics and something short-term to help me sleep. Took the first one last night and after about 20 minutes, according to hubby, I started talking gibberish and staggered upstairs to bed. He very kindly filled my hot water bottle to save me the perilous journey back down to the kitchen. When he came to bed I was sound asleep with glasses still on and a magazine. To be perfectly honest I don't even remember the perilous journey let alone trying to read a magazine. Here's hoping it has the same effect tonight. Still feel a tad groggy this morning but not really tired. Too soon really to say they are working.

Have got the most beautiful picture of 'sunflowers' pinned up by my desk, they make me smile when I see them and then I have memories, from what seems a hundred years, of the person who painted them. Life's a funny old thing but it's best not to dwell on the past and wish for things which didn't and couldn't have happened.

It's so very cold this morning but as least we don't have the snow and ice from a few weeks ago. America is getting the brunt of it this time.

Well enough is enough better get started working.

Natter again soon, xx

Half way through the week

Can't believe it's Wednesday already, the days seem to fly past. Wow it's only 317 days until Christmas, better start buying the pressies. Oh no wait a minute, Easter hasn't been yet and then there are the summer holidays to think about. Ach I might as well wait a week or two before ordering the turkey, oops yes the holidays spring to mind again cos I'm going back to Turkey.

Lovely weather, friendly people, brilliant food and copious amounts of alcohol. Last year we only went for a week, ate like the proverbial pigs, drank like fish on a couple of occasions and I still managed to lose weight. Maybe the fact that we walked for miles every day. Imagine doing that in the sunny climes of Glasgow or Dunfermline or any other town in the UK - me thinks not. Roll on September when we do it all again for 10 days this time. Hotel is booked, still looking for flights but will be fine.

Short working day today, doctor's this morning - nothing too serious, got blood tests done so should know pretty soon. Hubby picking me up on his way home from work, he was sleep over last night so haven't actually seen him since Monday, that's life. (ooh that would make a good song title), so will be leaving early as well.

Really tired just now, had the cold then my black mood and an assignment to do but hey life is fun, grasp it with both hands cos you don't know what is round the corner.

Bye for now

More ramblings tomorrow.

What a day

Somehow I can't get onto my blog from work anymore. Was so disappointed. Mind you the computers were playing up most of the day so will see what happens tomorrow.

Had an assignment to hand in today and worked on it for over 3 hours last night. I put it onto a USB. Learned my lesson the hard way, saved my first assignment but for some reason it disappeared into the ethos never to be found again. I had been so proud of it and the second attempt didn't really match up. Passed but only just. Have been getting steadily better and now save on computer and stick. Panic set in tonight and thought I would have to go back to work. Had been doing some 'fine tuning' at work and saving as I went along. Anyway on the bus back home tonight thinking about things in general and mulling over if there were any more changes I could make when the thought suddenly struck me - I didn't have my 'stick'. OMG what to do. It was 17:45 but I called work and luckily one of my colleagues was still there. He very kindly got the 'stick' from my computer and e-mailed my assignment to me. I owe him a bar of chocolate least, would have been ciggies but he stopped 3 months ago. Anyway the beast has been put to bed. Waiting game until next week when results will be back. Hey ho, couple of days break then start on the next one. New books, new chapters to read, new subject matter, all very exciting.

Talk again soon, bed time for me now. Nite to all.

Happy Monday

Can't believe it's Monday again. Where do the days go to and why are Saturday and Sunday the shortest days of the week.

Feeling so much better today, glad I caught the black mood in time. Hate going there feel so worthless, helpless and of no value. Still things are much brighter and hopefully will stay that way.

Back at work bright eyed and bushy tailed (emmmm) well you know what I mean. So much to do and so little time to do it in. Have to get cracking on sorting out a filing cabinet and cupboard. Should have done it last week but with being off, etc, etc.

Have brought my assignment with me, will work on it at lunchtime and hope the gray cells start to work a bit better than they have been doing of late. Only got today and tomorrow to complete it. Thankfully I have a terrific tutor who will allow me extra time if needed. Beginning to like the course although it wasn't what I expected it to be. Bit of a mixture but will be worth it in the end. Who knows in 5 years I could have a BA in Criminology and then watch out, ha ha.

Time to go and get on with some work. Cheeri xx

Getting my brain into gear

I'm having a bit of a problem right now. I have an assignment to hand in on Tuesday and although I have my notes and textbook I just can't seem to get it together. Perhaps I'm just not meant to be doing this. I think about all the things I've been told about how to set out my assignment, how to read the question and how to write in my own words but guess what---- I can't remember a thing. There's just this black hole and nothing seems to be staying in there. I know eventually I will get something down on paper but right now I don't seem too certain.

It's been a funny old week, started on quite a low note, black feelings, not wanting to do anything but has changed for the better, slow but sure. The black feeling is now a shade of gray.

Life is good, family are keeping well and the dark nights are getting lighter. Friendships are blossoming and my dearest friend (you know who you are) is always there for me. I wish we could see each other again but then perhaps that wouldn't be such a good idea. Best to let things stay the way they are.

Less of the rambling and more of the doing, going to have something to eat then get the thinking head on.

Ramble again later.

Here we go again

Another day another dollar or so they say.

So tired, can't sleep at night, hate the dark mornings. Today is milder than it has been but really dreich.

Gonna be a really quiet day today, most of my colleagues are going to a launch. My friend is day off so will have to talk to myself, not unusual that one though.

Really annoyed with self at present, lost quite a bit of weight but have put on just over 2lbs over Christmas. Blame Sainsbury for reducing the price of a huge, enormous bag of brazil nuts from £2.99 to the measly sum of 40p. I just can't resist brazils. Maybe just as well they weren't chocolate coated or would have put on even more. Tried to ration them to about 6 per portion but don't think that means 5 or 6 times a day. Hey ho they're finished now so back on the wagon so to speak.

Must go, e-mails to read and work to be done.

Look forward to tomorrow.

My first blogging adventure

Only decided to try this out cos my good friend brought it to my attention.

Not quite so busy at present, kind of a lull in the proceedings.

Have to get uni head on again as next TMA is due in 2 weeks, finding it quite hard going as haven't studied in such a long time. Can't quite get my head round all the 'uni speak'. Why can't they use simply phrases and words?

It would make it so much easier for the not so young, and those who have had very little to do with studying in such a long time to understand. Good to have a tutor, who although young, understands and assists whenever possible. Scraping past so far but hope to get better by the end.

Coffee break ended so back to the normal work of the day.

Typing to be done, phones to answer and e-mails to reply to.